


Get A Room

by thesaddestboner



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: In Media Res, Lack of Porn, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Not Beta Read, Pittsburgh Penguins, Porn Logic, Russians, Silly, Trapped, Washington Capitals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 06:54:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesaddestboner/pseuds/thesaddestboner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>If he and Alex Ovechkin are going to be locked in a stupid powder room together for Christmas Eve, Sid is going to make damn sure Alex feels as uncomfortable as Sid currently does</i>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get A Room

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Northern_Star](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northern_Star/gifts).



> [**northern_star**](http://northern_star.livejournal.com/) asked for: _Sid & Ovi being stuck spending Christmas Eve together_.
> 
> I’m sorry this is so short and dumb but I suck at writing lately. ;__;
> 
> Let’s just suspend our disbelief and say someone invited Sidney and Geno and Ovi to the same Christmas party and Sid and Ovi got locked together in a bathroom.
> 
> You can find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/thesaddestboner) and [tumblr](http://saddestboner.tumblr.com).

Sid sits with his back pressed up against the toilet—the porcelain is cold and the chill seeps through his layers—with his legs sprawled out wide. He knows he’s taking up most of the space in the cramped powder room— _who the hell even has a powder room anymore_ —but he doesn’t really care. Sid knows he’s being a brat, but he doesn’t really care about that either. If he and Alex Ovechkin are going to be locked in a stupid powder room together for Christmas Eve, Sid is going to make damn sure Alex feels as uncomfortable as Sid currently does.

“Your ass too big, take up all the space.”

Sid looks up from his iPhone. Alex is leering at him, boasting a big gap-toothed grin. Neither of them had spoken in at least the last half hour. The silence was kind of nice, actually. 

“What?” Sid scrunches his face and puts his phone down on the tile next to him.

“Not enough room for me,” Alex says, still grinning. He gestures at Sid, hands floating dangerously close to his backside.

“I think you’ll manage,” Sid says, frowning. He glances back down at his phone, the glowing screen, and Geno’s last taunting message. _Удачи, Сидни))))))))))))))))))))))))))_ Sid’s not exactly sure what it means, but judging from the amount of Russian smiley faces, he supposes it’s probably not a good thing.

“I’m dying.” Alex lets out an awful, retching sound and flops across Sid’s lap. He shudders once, arms and legs spasming, before going limp.

“Oh my God, I hate you.” Sid debates picking him up and using him as a battering ram against the bathroom door with the jammed lock, but Alex is way too heavy. “Move.”

“No,” Alex says.

“My legs are falling asleep. Plus, what if they bust the door down and find us like this? It wouldn’t look good,” Sid says to the back of Alex’s head.

“Don’t care. You comfy.”

Sid sighs and grabs his phone again, firing off a mass text to Geno and a few of their other teammates. _Can’t take this much longer. Pls send help._

Alex sits up suddenly and just narrowly misses knocking Sid’s phone out of his hands. “I’m bored.”

“I’m sorry. There’s not much I can do about that,” Sid says.

“Let’s play game,” Alex says, reaching out and tugging on the sleeve of Sid’s Christmas sweater.

Sid snaps his sleeve out of Alex’s hand. “What kind of game,” he asks, suspicious.

“When I was little boy, I play games with girls in my neighborhood—”

Sid throws up a hand, cutting him short. “No. Whatever you’ve got in mind, you can just forget about it.”

“Is nothing bad,” Alex says, pouting and huffing like a spoiled child. “Just to pass time ’til Geno save us.”

 _Speaking of Geno..._ Sid glances down at his phone again. _u like sanja, he lode of fun))))) flower on phone with locksmith now dont worry))_

Alex’s phone starts going off then too and he digs it out of his pocket. He smirks down at the screen. “I get text from Geno too.”

“What’s it say? Let me see.” Sid makes a grab for it, but Alex bats his hands away and holds it out of his reach.

“Geno just tell me to be nice, behave. What’s he talking about? He knows I’m such a nice guy.” Alex shoves the phone back in his pocket.

“Likely story.” Sid tips his head back against the edge of the toilet bowl, tries not to think about all the germs and bacteria that are probably swarming around right now, and closes his eyes.

He feels Alex shift next to him, squeezing in until they’re sitting side by side. Being locked in Flower’s bathroom wouldn’t have been so bad if it was Geno, or something. Alex is like sandpaper all over his skin, irritating, leaving him rubbed raw. At least, if it had been Geno, they could’ve talked about their upcoming, post-Christmas break games.

“You too quiet. Say something,” Alex demands.

Sid opens his eyes and stares up at the swirly, off-white puff-pastry ceiling texture. “Something.”

Alex punches him in the thigh and Sid yelps. “Don’t be dumb, Sid.”

Sid rubs his thigh and glares at him. “Fuck off.”

Alex narrows his eyes and his smile turns sly, sharky. Sid’s stomach does flips and he instinctively wraps an arm around his midsection. “I got idea then. We do something to pass time that isn’t game.”

“Like what?” Sid asks.

“This.” Alex leans in and presses his mouth over Sid’s, gently, and... Sid thinks that’s his tongue pushing into his mouth.

Alex Ovechkin, the human embodiment of everything Sid finds annoying and abrasive, is kissing him. With tongue.

And it’s actually not half-bad.

Sid pushes back, but doesn’t push him away. Alex seems to get it though, upping the intensity, parting his lips even more, so that their tongues tangle wetly. Sid thinks he hears his iPhone start to chime with text messages, but he's a little too busy at the moment.

Sid feels Alex’s fingers on his neck, tracing his jawline, feels Alex’s teeth worry at his bottom lip. 

Something—or someone—bangs against the bathroom door and Alex pulls away abruptly. Sid instantly misses it, misses Alex.

“Sid,” Geno calls out from the other side of the door. “Flower found spare key. We gonna get you out.” Geno pauses, chuckles. “Unless you don’t want.”

Sid looks at Alex, who’s running his tongue over his kiss-swollen bottom lip. “Yeah. I do want,” he says, still looking at Alex.

Alex meets his gaze and grins at him just as the key turns in the lock and Geno pushes the door open.

Geno stands there in the doorway and studies both of them, a line forming between his eyebrows. He flips the key to Sid, who catches it in his cupped palms. 

Sid opens his mouth to say _It’s not what it looks like_ because he’s sure Geno can just tell what he and Alex have been up to, but Geno just shakes his head and sighs.

“Get a room you two.”

**Author's Note:**

> The author of this piece intends no insult, slander, or copyright infringement, and is not profiting from this work. This story is a complete work of fiction and does not necessarily reflect on the nature of the individuals featured. This is for entertainment purposes only. If you found this story while Googling your name or the names of your friends, hit the back button now.


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